I was misaligned with my clients.. Let’s talk about it.
I’ve been getting frustrated lately about older women wanting to work with me…. now, before you get pissed because you’re “older”, this actually ends well. Anytime I feel strong emotions like this, I get curious about why. I even took it up with my HotBody AI that helps me with emotional intelligence and regulation. I had to get real, like… There are 30-year-old girls with the emotional capacity of a 15-year-old wounded girl, and there are 60-year-olds feral as fuck.
The part that was frustrating is that I use the same messaging and the same ads, and now I’m attracting women who say perimenopause is their issue, and things changed after major life events. The things they tell me, the way they say them, make me want to scream.
And then I remembered how frustrated I got early on when I scaled my trauma-informed weight loss offer. I was attracting ALL types… stay-at-home moms, women who weren’t self-led, and certainly not growth-oriented. They were women who literally struggled with the same things at the same level year after year. victim of circumstance,
People with a growth mindset may struggle, but they always take action, and it’s never the same level of struggle because they evolve.
The people I HATE working with want quick relief without taking responsibility. They comment on everything and never do anything. They show up on calls and lives and are literally only there to help the algorithm show me to more people but I’m here for impact, not fame on IG.
This shit really affected my mental health because I thought I had to work with them. I knew it was going to be like pissing in the wind to take them on as a client.
So today when my AI snapped me out of it and said older women are actually the ones who are done feeling like shit and ready… I argued. I said, bullshit. There’s something here. What’s underneath all this? Because it has to be a mirror for myself.
Also, anytime I’m frustrated or in the feels, it’s because there’s some kind of switch that needs to be flicked and once it is, everything smooths out quickly.
I started writing. And crying. Because once again, I judged myself for feeling this and made it mean that I’m bad, or that I won’t be as successful if I focus only on growth-minded entrepreneurs. I felt bad for not believing in certain people. It’s like… there’s no way I can actually hit my goals if I set standards for who I want to work with and actually “be mean” to the people I don’t want to work with.
The truth is, I want to work with people who say:
If something’s not working, I’m going to hire help and figure it out.
Then I realized it wasn’t only entrepreneurs. There are corporate women and school teachers who are amazing and want help. We had an art teacher last week sign up for coaching, so I know this can’t be narrowed down to a job title.
So I was confused about what I was actually feeling.
What I found out is that I have zero tolerance for learned helplessness.
What does that even mean?
It’s people who want to be understood more than they want to be helped.
The truth is, growth-minded people tolerate discomfort differently.
They’re already oriented toward risk, responsibility, self-confrontation, and I feel fucking SANE with these people. I want to work with people who already believe in themselves. People who KNOW their life is up to them and how they choose to create it. That if something’s not working, they will address it quickly! They don’t need to be rescued; they just need better tools.
People who think their feelings are facts, I’m fucking done with.
People who actually move instead of freeze …those are my people.
Women and men who say, once I heal… once work slows down, once the moon goes direct, once I work on xyz… once I finish xyz… once I feel ready… once I go through xyz… once money shows up… once things calm down — those people are NOT my people.
My people say this:
I CAN.
They hire me to sharpen their skills, for support, and to get what they want…not for me to carry them to happiness and help them feel safe about staying stuck in their shit pile.
This is really hard for me, and I’m still learning. I get caught up in it. My instinct is to improve my messaging, to really dial in speaking to the ones I want to work with, but also to not give a fuck, because sometimes I don’t need more rules.
I need to just be me and let whatever comes out land.
That’s what’s on my brain at the moment.
