The runaway bunny, berries for sal and the big bad wolf were a few bedtime stories my mom would read to me as a kid (subliminal message of what was yet to come,maybe? ) anyways… since Mom guilt was in the air from yesterday’s post, I thought I would go over this one.
When I was reading about the science behind breastfeeding and kids who did and didn’t…what I found interesting was that breastfeeding moms who enjoyed it, tend to be more “nurturing” in general and the closeness that it provided is something that’s good for the babe. Reading to babe provides similar nurturing energies. Stopping breastfeeding brought on LOTS of guilt so reading that made me feel better.
I get mommy guilt about a lot of things…. ex: Working vs being a SAHM, not cooking a “made from scratch” dinner every night with all colors of the rainbow, and not playing with them 24-7. so, reading them bedtime stories is something small that I can do that helps them AND me. Lol (it’s all about me, can you tell)?
Seriously, I feel like parenting boils down to how it makes us look and feel.. think about it.. do you have them in travel ball so you can tell all your friends how much you sacrifice to provide them with the opportunity TO play ball. Maybe you look and feel like hell with lots of resentment from being sleep deprived Bc you refuse to give them a bottle.. But hey, you get to TELL EVERYONE how you killed yourself to breastfeed when really the babe would probably be just as happy and content with a well-rested mom and bottle while you got yourself back in shape or maybe you send them to private school so you feel high and mighty around the Mexican restaurant table with your couple friends on Friday nights.
(disclaimer: we are NOT perfect by any means! dear heavens, no! Skip would even consider himself a “dorky goofball” so don’t get your panties in a bunch when you read the next Line).
As a wife to a sports abuse counselor, we see parents forcing their kids into sports& activities sometimes trying to fill a void in themselves and or because they want to be the parent of a “travel ball or comp cheer etc.” kid. The reality is that the travel ball Kid isn’t a jock at all, really, he’s a dorky goofball, with A.D.D and is better suited to play a musical
instrument, take some low dose Adderall, and make straight A’s vs playing ball, failing school and feeling inadequate when mom constantly nags at him.
My point is.. I fall victim to Mom guilt at times so having one little thing that we can do together even if it’s something as insignificant as reading a bedtime story at night so that we ALL feel more connected is good for the mom soul. All kids want are A. approval/praise B.to feel loved. Besides. When i think back on the shitty times of childhood (Bc my mom was an addict/sexual abuse/victim and projected lots of “shit” onto me and my little bro) , i CAN recall things she did that WAS nurturing, like reading me bedtime stories. Ahhhh I see the pattern there 😉
Awareness is key. Happy mom, happy life. If it doesn’t feel right, try something else… (travel ball, breastfeeding, reading stories etc.
do what makes you happy and your kids will be happy. if you hate picking them up from school, hire it done pr ask for help! Hate cleaning the house? Hire it done! Hate breastfeeding? Bottle feed. Feeling rundown from waking them up for school in the am’s? Get an alarm clock and initiate an ass whoppin if they are late!
when it is suppose to work out, it will flow and be easy. #notetoself
High five to you badassery hotmomz!