The Rice Cake & World Championships
If you have followed my journey, notes and vlogs you know a little bit about me. You know that I obtained pro status with the WBFF this year in May and then went on and competed at The World Championships in Canada last weekend (Aug 25th). I was so nervous and excited about the event. My life has changed drastically. I sold my weight room and now do all of my work online. I have huge dreams and aspirations for this life…I only have a short time to live out these dreams in my current meat suit.
Being at worlds was different than any other of my competitions. Normally I get an automatic sense of competing right when I see another competitor. You see them and want to see how they size up to you. This time, I walk in and you see all the faces that you have been seeing for years in magazines and on the internet. There is an automatic feeling of grace and respect. These people are like me. This is their life pretty much. The athletes meeting was cool, I wore my pink wig of course haha. I knew no one. I got to meet a few sweet women. I learned a lot about how the industry works. Is it pretty? It has it’s beauty like everything else but yes it also has it’s not so beautiful side. I wanted to win. Who doesn’t? Winning is fun right? The day of the show was fun but tiring. This was the most organized show I have ever experienced. There was Dressing rooms, photographers, interviews and pretty people everywhere. Not to mention it was on pay per view. It was like a Miss America pageant with muscles. During callouts I started questioning what in the world did I do to not get into top ten. Later I saw the video and just laughed and had a OHHHH ahhaa moment. I haven’t spoke with a judge yet but it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see the obvious. I just didn’t have the muscle size and hardness that the top girls in the fitness division had. I am better suited for the Bikini Divison. Which is perfectly fine with me now but before I had a big problem with being a “bikini” girl. Resistance is a hell of an emotion. So the day of, I was kind of just taking it all in, meeting photographers, cool girls and wondering about my showing. After the show was over, I felt a small release but there was still something I was holding back. So far nothing turned out like I had PLANNED. You know what “they” say… when you are busy planning, life happens. The next day I was in a horrific mood. Poor Skip haha. I was let down and faced with all the negative emotions of feeling not good enough; questioning my place in life and what the hell I go through all of this for? I was seeing girls in magazines and shoots that made me think…how did they get there? Why I am not where they are? Ok I officially sound like a preschool brat, I know. I realized that the success I want does NOT happen overnight…heck, I just turned pro 3 months ago and some of these girls have been doing this for 3-7 years! I always say give me patience and HURRY UP! Haha. The next day we went to see Niagara falls. We were standing in the rental car center and IT HAPPENED! I opened up my purse and saw a rice cake. I burst into tears. Threw my purse down and was smacked with my REAL emotions of letting go and I guess obtaining crazy bitch status. My husband knew it was coming. I think I cried for an hour or so. Fast forward a few days and clarity came! Something I haven’t felt in a couple of months. I felt proud all of a sudden for my amazing accomplishments; thankful for everything I had been given, appreciative for everyone’s loves and support, happy that I chose to turn my life around a few years ago. I have a huge heart. Even though I grew up and still fight being emotionally closed. I only do that to not get hurt because I want to trust everyone and help. I thrive on giving. I have been hurt so much in the past with helping others and then getting shit on. The reason was I didn’t trust myself. I have a pretty good bullshit meter, I just tend to say ohh its ok, I can conform to their selfish, two face personality. You get my drift. I have continued to grow spiritually and have better judgment than I did before. I listen to the bullshit meter now haha. I had a dream that I would own a supplement store In my hometown (Cedartown Ga). I wanted to do that because there is very little access to health. What I mean is, most have to drive 20 min to get to a grocery store, fast food is way to accessible and the grocery stores demands just aren’t high enough to provide organic and non processed foods. The closest nutrition/supplement store is 30 min north. I care about my people. I figured if I opened a shop, I could educate and provide services and product to make a change. I have also had aspirations like any other professional in the industry like, getting the coveted “supplement deal” how nice would it be to get paid 2-4 thousand a month and work out. AND I will get in magazines. There was a supplement company that sponsored the World Championships called Visalus. I heard about the company In 2010 and turned my nose up. Approached two more times this year to get board and once again skeptical of the “multi-level marketing” and products. I knew it was a very successful company and all of the people promoting the “90 day challenge” was quitting their well paying jobs like pharmaceutical reps and promoting Visalus. Their products were in our athlete bag, so I tried them. They tasted amazing but I still was reluctant because of my pride. My husband must have had 70 energy packets. So here I am! A promoter for Visalus. The reason I mentioned that is this… I feel like this is how life works. My dreams was to be a pro, get a contract with a supplement company and own a nutrition shop to help educate the people I care about. What most people do not know is that regular supplement companies pay very little and expect you to work your ass promoting their brand while you blog, fly and basically work for 8 bucks an hour if you break it down. If you get into a magazine you are lucky to make 200 bucks! Yep glamours isn’t it? So now I get the best of all three. I get to help the high percentage of people that truly have no clue how to eat or get in shape, own my business and I will have the money to pay some of the BEST photographers in the industry if my goal is to get into a magazine J (make $ that’s well over what I would get paid from a regular supplement company that only appeals to the people already in the gym and knows more than the average joe). I can integrate my knowledge on whole foods and tricks to attain and maintain fat loss while promoting an awesome supplement. That is clarity! I am working this improvement season to bring up my posterior chain (back side of entire body) and bring a BETTER package to the Worlds next year. I am eating the same foods as I was getting ready for the show. Enjoying having a larger variety of course but I just run good off oats, eggs/egg whites, fruit, and lean meats. I still have my goodies post workout and cheat’s or treat meals on a fun day. Its all about balance. You can still have a normal life! I PROMISE. And no ..binge drinking is not normal. It’s a problem haha. Moderation folks.. hell, you can die from drinking too much water. And any diet that gets results and can be maintained while keeping you happy and satisfied is the right one.
I really appreciate you reading this. It’s such a good release to get this down on paper. Just know that you are loved. Talk soon